I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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