I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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