im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
