yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
