yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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