omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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