So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
