I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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