Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
