Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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