Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
