waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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