Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
