There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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