You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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