How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
