You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
