So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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