Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
