how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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