Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
