SEEEEXXX PLEASE
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She even gives head with a lisp.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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