Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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