how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
