Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
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I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You can't just leave with hair like that
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize