I cannot find my penis.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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