I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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