you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
