Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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