the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
