no, he came in my armpit
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
