Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize