I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
