Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
