i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
