i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
