Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
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My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
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This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
is that a dick in a sweater?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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