i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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