Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
