Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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