Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
