I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
