If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need water and some morals
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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