my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
