He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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