no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They took my balls.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
