whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
