My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
and you fell through a lawn chair
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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