ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
