We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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