I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
