I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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