I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
