I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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