Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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