is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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