the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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