your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
