I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
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I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
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How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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